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Characters

Cool Cat is a cat who is cool. He is the coolest cat in all of Failtown High, and he’s always out to give that crusty old dean a heard time. His true origins are shrouded in mystery, but he was first found in a mysterious petshop that wasn’t there yesterday. (First Appearance: Comic 119)

Totally 80s Mercedes is a bat who hangs out with Cool Cat. She is slightly less cool. (First Appearance: Comic 119)

melvin

Melvin T. Adelman is a bilby that works as a janitor at Jiggles GmbH Adult Emporium.  He’s not very good at what he does.  He also has a fat fetish. (First Appearance:  Comic 1)

martin

Martin Q. Hefferbottom is a ferret who owns and manages Jiggles GmbH Adult Emporium.  He has lots of big ideas! He also appears to have a pet snake that he takes for walks on a leash.  Yeah, sure, why not? (First Appearance: Comic 2)

xaviera

Xaviera Pufflebum is a chinchilla who works as a clerk at Jiggles’ rival adult store, The Pink Persimmon.   She’s generally rather upbeat. (First Appearance: Comic 4)

cloey

Cloey Woodresin is Melvin’s wife,  a pine marten who works as a pyschology professor at the local college.  She’s a little exasperated. (First Appearance: Comic 8)

wilbur

Wilbur Kozofsky is an armadillo that works as a cashier at Jiggles GmbH.  He’s kind of right-wing. (First Appearance: Comic 5)

magnolia

Magnolia Mayonaise is an opossum that works as a stripper in the Jiggles backroom.  She’s a little brain-addled. (First Appearance: Comic 6)

filbert

Filbert Hibiscus is a hellbender who works as a projectionist in Jiggles’ backroom smut theater.  He’s kind of a push-over. (First Appearance: Comic 5)

cadillac

Cadillac Myspace is a nutria.  She worked as a stripper for a month before finding fame and fortune by making embellished blog posts about her experience.  She now makes a living as an inspirational speaker.  She has a blackberry shaped like a hamburger. (First Appearance: Comic 7)

Generalisimo Chlamydia Clitoria Butterwort III, esq. originally appeared as the warden of a US-Mexican border prison, but she seems to have held innumerable odd jobs over the course of her career — including a stint modeling for adult magazines in the 70s.  She is a pseudo-hermaphrodite, having grafted the genitals of her deceased twin brother to her crotch as a weirdly incestuous tribute to his memory after he was killed in a freak carnival accident. (First Appearance: Comic 27)

Sally the Dog is Butterwort’s constant, silent companion.  Little is known about the true nature of their relationship or even if it’s actually consensual. (First Appearance: Comic 27)

Chastity Steelvulva is a rat. She often protests in front of the store. (First Appearance:  Comic 1)

Pickles and Peaches LeRou are a pair of naked mole rat sisters who appear in adult films, mostly catering to the fatty and baldy fetish markets. (First Appearance: Comic 35)

Jolly Molly McGolly is a cow and the CEO of a local candy and confection manufacturer. (First Appearance: Comic 133)

Bernice Sauce is an ermine and friend to Mercedes. She has a very stylish beret. (First Appearance: Comic 170)

Svetlana Krellkin is a bear and Russian cosmonaut for hire. (First Appearance: Comic 155)

Herr Gobbles is the fascist dictator that rules the country in which all our action takes place.  He rules from the shadows, so most of the populace is unaware of his existance, instead believing that they live in a constitutional democracy.  Really makes ya think. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE. (First Appearance: Comic 148)

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