Melvin T. Adelman is a bilby that works as a janitor at Jiggles GmbH Adult Emporium.  He’s not very good at what he does.  He also has a fat fetish.

Martin Q. Hefferbottom is a ferret who owns and manages Jiggles GmbH Adult Emporium.  He has lots of big ideas! He also appears to have a pet snake that he takes for walks on a leash.  Yeah, sure, why not?

Xaviera Pufflebum is a chinchilla who works as a clerk at Jiggles’ rival adult store, The Pink Persimmon.   She’s generally rather upbeat.

Cloey Woodresin is Melvin’s wife,  a pine marten who works as a pyschology professor at the local college.  She’s a little exasperated.

Wilbur Kozofsky is an armadillo that works as a cashier at Jiggles GmbH.  He’s kind of right-wing.

Magnolia Mayonaise is an opossum that works as a stripper in the Jiggles backroom.  She’s a little brain-addled.

Filbert Hibiscus is a hellbender who works as a projectionist in Jiggles’ backroom smut theater.  He’s kind of a push-over.

Cadillac Myspace is a nutria.  She worked as a stripper for a month before finding fame and fortune by making embellished blog posts about her experience.  She now makes a living as an inspirational speaker.  She has a blackberry shaped like a hamburger.

Generalisimo Chlamydia Clitoria Butterwort III, esq. originally appeared as the warden of a US-Mexican border prison, but she seems to have held innumerable odd jobs over the course of her career — including a stint modeling for adult magazines in the 70s.  She is a pseudo-hermaphrodite, having grafted the genitals of her deceased twin brother to her crotch as a weirdly incestuous tribute to his memory after he was killed in a freak carnival accident.

Sally the Dog is Butterwort’s constant, silent companion.  Little is known about the true nature of their relationship or even if it’s actually consensual.

Chastity Steelvulva is a rat. She often protests in front of the store.

Pickles and Peaches LeRou are a pair of naked mole rat sisters who appear in adult films, mostly catering to the fatty and baldy fetish markets.

Cool Cat is a cat who is cool. He is the coolest cat in all of Failtown High, and he’s always out to give that crusty old dean a heard time. His true origins are shrouded in mystery, but he was first found in a mysterious petshop that wasn’t there yesterday.

Totally 80s Mercedes is a bat who hangs out with Cool Cat. She is slightly less cool.